“You think one baby is difficult, wait until you have three!” Have you heard this before? I know I have, and it is a topic I recently chatted about with a friend. I am so fortunate that I am surrounded by family, friends and co-workers who are positive and supportive of me as a woman and a mother. I try to take the involuntary advice most of us parents receive lightly. Now that I am a working mother of three, I definitely overthink a little less. There simply is not enough time to mull over each and every parenting decision I make within a day.
So I overthink a little less.. but life today is not more difficult, or easier, than life was when I only had my daughter.
I was actually completely overwhelmed when I had my first baby, my sweet Kaia Grace. I struggled with anxiety as a new parent. I was also in an unhealthy marriage, where we were not very supportive of one another. Everyone told me, “oh, it goes so fast.” Yet, the days felt so long. Time moved so slowly for me. I felt like I sat and watched her, just waiting for the milestones to happen before my eyes. I was tired. I questioned my decisions constantly. I felt an overall lack of confidence. Are you thinking, “hmm, this sounds like postpartum depression?” I thought so too. I decided to take care of my mental health, and began working with a therapist. A lot of my anxiety was situational, but the postpartum hormones were definitely not helping the situation. I am proud of myself for identifying my struggles, and overcoming some serious insecurities.
Life is a crazy blur from this point in my story until now.. a divorce, healing, a marriage and two pregnancies. Okay, now I get it.. time really does fly! Now my days are filled with happiness and family time. I can feel the joy, be in the moment, and have let go of the constant fear.
My postpartum experiences were much different with my sons. My husband and I make a great team, and we tackle every parenting challenge together. After my second was born I heard, “If you can handle two, you can handle five!” And after my third was born, “You going for the fourth? What’s one more?” I’m here to tell you this; whether you have one baby, two or three, parenting is extremely challenging! I believe that when you add another living, breathing human being to your family, you are going to face new challenges. Babies simply demand constant care, which is difficult. Every time your family expands, so do your challenges; but it does not mean the challenges you faced before are less significant.
Adjusting to parenthood was challenging for me with my first born. I love her so much it hurts, but it was still a huge learning experience for me. Learning to share time and attention when my second was born became a new challenge for our family. When our third was born, we had to learn how to share time, attention and supervision between three small children. We almost function in a constant ‘damage control’ mode.
I love being a parent. Kaia, Grayson and Reece are my angels. My husband and I work hard to provide the best life possible for them. Their unique personalities have each stolen a piece of my heart. I will always want the best for them. I will always strive to be more patient and present. I am simply doing the best I can.. and I’m pretty proud of how far I have come on this motherhood journey.
Whether you have one, two or ten kids… know that your efforts as a parent are so meaningful. Do not beat yourself up if you feel overwhelmed at times, or often. Just keep doing the best you can!
.. and remember, time really does go so quickly.
Time is Love,